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Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Sexual fantasia Mahatir's Unfinished Business What Ummi want from Mahatir Casual sex between casual friends


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Opposition Leader Anwar Ibrahim scoffed at his former boss Mahathir Mohamad, who in his latest memoir had accused Anwar of having a voracious sexual appetite for both men and women partners, saying the wildness of the older man's attacks underscored the presence of ulterior motives.

“Mahathir wants to ensure that the future of his son Mukhriz is bright, just as former Egypt president Hosni Mubarak tried to do for his son Kamal. Mahathir wants to ensure that his son is listed as a great leader. That could have been Mahathir's consideration,” Anwar said in an interview with TV Selangor.
Mukhriz is Mahathir's youngest son. At 44, he is the deputy Trade minister but talk within the ruling Umno party is that he only secured the position because Mahathir had pressured Prime Minister Najib Razak.
Despite losing the Umno Youth Chief post to another candidate, Khairy Jamaluddin, Mukhriz was still picked for the post while Khairy was not given anything at all because Mahathir had intervened.
So was Anwar gay, bi-sexual, straight or all three?
Indeed, not only has the 85-year Mahathir accused Anwar of getting former buddy K S Nallakarupan to procure the sexual services of 4 women for him, Mahathir also raked up old stories of how Anwar had repeatedly sodomised his wife's chaffeur.
Still sharp-eyed, Mahathir recounted in his book the details of how Azizan had confessed to him about Anwar.
But for reasons of his own, he omitted to mention that Azizan has actually denied that Anwar ever sodomised him.
In 1998, the court assembled by Mahathir to incriminate Anwar completely ignored any testimony that disfavoured the prosecutors. In Malaysia, sodomy is a crime punishable with up to 20 years jail.
But while Mahathir succeeded in jailing Anwar, who had refused to bail out a company belonging to one of his sons, he plunged Malaysia into irreparable disrepute.
A decade later, Najib and his wife Rosmah Mansor allegedly tried the same tactic against a resurgent Anwar.
Soon after announcing his parliamentary comeback in 2008, Anwar was charged for sodomising his personal aide. He denied the charges and accused Najib and Rosmah of hatching the second conspiracy.
The country is still reeling from the after-shock of that Najib-Rosmah move. Foreign investors baled out in droves causing an 81 per cent plunge in FDIin 2009 on fears the political rivalry would cause economic instability.
Foreign parliamentarians worldwide also condemned Najib for manipulating the judiciary and the police for his own benfit.
“There are certainly lies in the book. I would not be surprised if some Umno leaders go so far as to verify such wild claims. However, we have a record of the supreme council meeting. As far as I remember, I did not admit to any such charge or claim,” said Anwar.
Mahathir, who stepped down in 2003, had also said that when Anwar was hauled up before the Umno supreme council in 1998 he “never once referred to the question of homosexuality, focusing only on the affairs with women.”
Ku Li also could have been PM
Mahathir also claimed that he had met the 4 girls who said they had been propositioned by Anwar for sex.
“Anwar should have been the prime minister of Malaysia today. But if he is not, it is because of his own actions. He left me no choice but to remove him and I did what I thought was best for the country. I may have made many mistakes, but removing Anwar was not one of them,” Mahathir wrote in his book.
It is telling that Mahathir, who ruled Malaysia with a fist of iron for 22 years and who has been accused of massive corruption, also said similar things of another of his political rivals - Tengku Razaleigh Hamzah. Ku Li had challenged him for the Umno presidency in the 1980s.
"Had Tengku Razaleigh been more patient, he would probably have taken Tun Musa Hitam’s place as deputy prime minister and eventually become prime minister,” Mahathir wrote in his book titled A Doctor in the House: The Memoirs of Tun Dr Mahathir Mohamad.
“I even considered re-appointing Tengku Razaleigh to the Cabinet, but after he gave an interview to the Far Eastern Economic Review magazine that was very critical of me and the government, I had to change my mind.”
Najib and Rosmah accused of planting DNA in Saiful's private parts
Anwar was found guilty and jailed for sodomy and corruption in 1999. He was acquitted in 2004 just months after Mahathir stepped down.
Earlier on Tuesday, the Kuala Lumpur High Court surprised Malaysians when it suddenly ruled in favor of Anwar, agreeing that three personal items had been unfairly taken from him and that DNA evidence lifted from these items could not be used as evidence.
So far, the second sodomy trial against Anwar has been likened to the first kangaroo court convened by Mahathir. Anwar's lawyers were even denied access to key documents including chemist reports and police statements in direct contravention of U.N. guidelines for a fair trial.
Cross-examination by Anwar's lawyers also revealed the presence of at least 5 unknown male DNA profiles in the private parts of the complainant, Saiful Bukhari Azlan.
Speculation has spread like wildfire that the multiple DNA was planted by Najib and Rosmah, sparking much laughter and ridicule throughout coffee shops in the nation for the first couple.

TO MAHAATIR WITH LOVE FROM UMMI AND ROSMAH
If you've willingly boycotted the 'Commitments-cum-Expectations' camp long back, 'Friends with Benefits' (FWBs) is probably the thing you're looking for. 

For your frame of reference, this fad defines a mutually beneficial relationship between two friends who indulge in casual sex with no bonds or expectations involved. In an age when all that people think of is adding digits to their bank balance, this trend has become quite a rage. Commitment might have taken a backseat but the desire for pleasure never will.

On being asked reasons as to why this trend has come into being, relationship therapist, Rachna Kothari says "Some reasons would be, the mere known fact that two friends are physically attracted to each other and can benefit each other (most often sexually), the want of pleasure or feeling of loneliness in a person or exes wanting to be in a physical relationship with no label attached. For those who believe they live in a culture that pursues individualism as the highest goal, it makes this relationship more pragmatic. Because there is no commitment or responsibility, one is free from feelings of hurt, pain, etc. and this can be a very honest and practical way of going about in relationships."

It is for sure, considering how comfortable one is with the idea, 'Friends with Benefits' is not a bad way to go about relationships. But then again, it is not all that easy. Here are certain dos and don'ts while being a FWBs.

Most times, in such a relationship, it is difficult to maintain proximity after you're done with your physical needs. Don't hook up with someone you are extremely close to or someone you can't do without on a regular basis. People generally say that women tend to fall in love with their partnersafter getting physical. But studies break that myth. It is normal that the moment you have had sexual intercourse, the body naturally emits hormones which generate feelings of love and affection. Sometimes, one of the partners agrees to being 'friends with benefits' just because they have feelings for the other and think that having casual sex would actually initiate sparks for the onset of a relationship. This can lead to heartbreak or a break in friendship or, in a worse scenario, both.

If, god willing, you fall in love at some point, this past phase can provoke doubt in your current relationship. FWBs can be a human interference when you're in a real relationship. Your current love can actually be insecure (and we see no fault in that) because of this so-called past-bed-buddy. If the FWB is an acquaintance, it's easy to break ties once you both have satisfied your physical needs.

Remember, it's about having an unspoken agreement between you and your friend to have occasional sex, leaving out the emotional baggage. You both should acknowledge this. Make sure the signal 'We're not lovers' is clear. Don't nestle or cuddle everytime you get an opportunity. Even sympathy sex is a no-no. This paves way to wanting more than just sex.

Rachna Kothari says, "Mutually, if two friends agree that there's no expectations, no commitments, then it's not detrimental because their attitudes are set right for this. But for those who believe that lovemaking and not mechanical sex is what's important, it is obviously detrimental as it violates every bit of their expectations."

Make sure the intimacy of this relationship is just between the two of you, without making it a public deal. Don't brag about what a love muffin you are. The friendship could be gone with the wind.

Comfort is the key word while being FWBs. You need not be worried about concealing that birthmark which you've always disliked, or those flabs you couldn't lose in the gym or whether you will perform well in bed. Just enjoy the moments without fretting much.

Most importantly, play safe. Don't just hook up without taking precautions. A bubbly night or a stressful day should be no excuse to not use protection before sex. Make sure you don't end up panic struck because of this risky relationship.

Maintaining friends with sexual benefits can be quite a hassle unless you stick by the ground rules. There is no harm being offbeat in relationships, but not acting in accordance to the rules would just lead to your life going haywire. 
1. When we talk 'listen', it shows us that you care about our feelings.

2. Men should be smart enough and understand that not all our bad moods are connected to PMS-ing.

3. Guys, developing an EQ (Emotional quotient) would help. That however, does not mean that they need to cry at the drop of a hat, it just means you need to be more sensitive towards us.

4. With women communication is the key, so try and talk to us often.

5. Here are some traits we wish men would display – chivalry, making an extra effort with our friends and family, because we do the same!

6. Cook for us once in a while – this one may sound like a cliche, but we love surprises so an occasional effort wouldn't hurt, would it?

7. Your machoism is not directly proportional to the speed at which you drive your car. Rash driving is so uncool.

8. Be protective, not possessive, hear that?

9. We need our man to proclaim love all the time and we leave it to you as to how you wish to show it.

10. Remember the quickest way to lose a woman is to lie to her; so be honest. 

We tell you ways to know what your man will be like in the sack (without even going there!) 

So you think you've found the man of your dreams? He's tall, dark and handsome, frets over you, gets you flowers every now and then and is lots of fun to be with. Though most women won't admit it but as much as they love being with the 'perfect' guy they can't help but wondering if he's equally good in bed. Before taking that next step, you do want to be sure that he's the guy for you. Experts say that you don't need to keep wondering about how your man will perform between the sheets. His everyday behaviour itself will give you an indication of what he's like.

Phone addict - Is your man constantly on his cell phone? While it's great that he's quick on the phone, if he's spending more time with his gadgets than with you, it can't be a good sign. Occasional texting and updating of social networking sites is all right, but if your man is always on his phone, it means he has less of a connection to you. This is a sure-fire sign that he's going to be easily distracted in bed and the sex will be less satisfying.

Grooming fanatic - All women love their man to be well-groomed. Soft hair, a stubble that's in control and clean short nails all go a long way in making him all that more desirable. But if your man has taken the metrosexual fad a bit too far and uses more hair gel, cream, body products or cosmetics than you do, then you're dating Mr Vain. And his obsession will extend right till thebedroom. A man who is overly conscious about his looks, will be self-absorbed sexually. You can bet that he'll only be thinking of his wants rather than yours.

Food matters - Dinner or meal-time with your lover should be fun with both of you sharing your dishes. However, if you notice your man refuses to share his appetiser and thinks you should've ordered your own plate of fries, he may be ungiving in other ways too. Men who refuse to share are more likely to be stubborn in bed. You'd want to think twice before continuing dating him.

Dating a miser - Yes, all of us have different views when it comes to our money and how we want to spend it. If your significant other is the type who hardly ever tips at a restaurant or doesn't believe in ever picking up the tab, don't expect much at home. Someone who is stingy outside, will be equally stingy in bed. So don't expect him to shower you with kisses and more. Also if he's a careless spender, he may be someone who's irresponsible in the sack. So watch out!
Not fond of PDA - While everyone may not be comfortable with public displays of affection, holding hands and putting your arm around the other person's waist never hurt anyone. Men who get easily embarrassed or stiff when their girlfriend's show some affection, may have some serious issues when it comes to sex. It could be an indication that he is not very comfortable with his body or yours and may have trouble connecting physically. You can bet he won't be a very sensual lover.
Black Swan focuses, almost exclusively, on a female body -- Nina's body. The film documents the way Nina believes she can attain perfection and take control of her life by purging, starving, scratching, sexualizing and prostituting herself. Nina's definition of perfection is intertwined with other characters' opinions about female perfection. By utilizing two distinct, female personas -- the black swan and the white swan, Aronofsky's film addresses the problematic expectations and policing of gender performance in our society. As we delve further into the film, we soon see that Nina's most significant performance in the film is not in Swan Lake, but instead, her performative role as a woman in our world.
In the film, Aronofsky appropriates two female clichés that recur in literature -- that of the naïve, inexperienced, usually virginal girl and that of the experienced, sexually deviant seductress. Nina is initially presented as the virginal girl (the white swan) but is compelled by Thomas, the ballet company's director, to take on the role of the second figure (the black swan). Although it is easy to identify Nina, before she is swallowed by her insanity, with the white swan, she is not. In fact, she is neither of these figures.
We gradually discover that Nina is not a virgin, suffers from bulimia anorexia, habitually scratches herself until she bleeds, and pockets various trinkets from Beth, the previous principal dancer, and worships them in secret. This is all before Nina even auditions for the role of the Swan Queen. Before Swan Lake, before Thomas, before Lily, Nina already displays symptoms of dysmorphia and psychological distress, which are likely caused by the strains of the ballet profession as well as her mother's overbearing influence.
As we learn in the film, Nina's mother, Erica, is also a product of the ballet industry who has been abandoned, like Beth. Erica reveals that she was seduced by someone in the company and forced to leave her career behind because of an unexpected pregnancy. Erica's obsession with preserving her daughter's purity is not only symptomatic of Erica's policing of Nina's body based on generational beliefs -- purity was once, and is still to a degree, revered by men -- but also of Erica's desire to maintain the ideal of the virginal girl that she can no longer be. Although Nina speaks softly about her desire to be perfect, wears pink and white, sleeps in a bedroom decorated for a young girl, she is far from the virginal figure. She is, instead, simply familiar with performing a specific version of the female gender, a role she plays almost every day -- the innocent, pure girl, the white swan. No one in the ballet company ever suspects that she is anything other than the white swan.
After years of performing her life as the white swan -- "the sweet girl" -- at the behest of her mother, Nina is persuaded by Thomas to adopt the persona of the black swan, his future "little princess" and sex object, in order to achieve so-called perfection. Both Erica and Thomas develop nicknames for Nina, titles for the roles that Nina must play to appease both of them. Nina's acceptance of her new role as the black swan is another instance of gender performance, albeit one determined directly by the male gaze.
In Black Swan, we repeatedly observe Nina's dancing from Thomas's gaze. The camera is often shot from his point of view or from the back of his head. We hear his criticisms of her dancing and her attitude; we witness him groping Nina's body -- what Thomas calls "seducing" but is more akin to sexual assault. Thomas tells Nina: "Perfection is not just about control. It's also about letting go. Surprise yourself so you can surprise the audience. Transcendence." He follows his words with a rough kiss. Thomas's definition not only asserts the existence of perfection in our world -- another unhealthy lesson for Nina -- but also, conveniently for him, promotes Nina's acceptance of Thomas's sexual advances. Transcendence and letting go for Thomas translate into Nina becoming lascivious for his pleasure and entertainment; calling this sexual liberation is foolish. Thomas does not advise Nina to "touch herself" in order to teach her about sexuality. He does it to assert his control over her understanding of sex, mold her into someone who can seduce him according to his predilections. In response, Nina sexualizes herself in order to appear perfect in Thomas's eye; she slowly kills what is left of herself in order to return his gaze.
The film also directs our attention to the unwanted male gaze outside of the ballet studio, in a world we see every day. Aronofsky presents us with two significant moments. In the first one, Nina is traveling home on the subway. While filing her nails, she is harassed by an older man who smacks his lips at her and grabs repeatedly at his crotch. In response, Nina merely looks away; she doesn't voice her opinion or move to somewhere safer. Shortly after this scene, Erica asks Nina if Thomas is taking advantage of her. The placement of these two scenes is no mistake. The same predatory male gaze that Thomas boasts of is not confined to the ballet studio; it is in the world that we, too, inhabit. In another scene, Lily is watched by a male waiter who stares at her and asks, in an attempt to flirt with her, "Let me know if that's juicy enough for you." In both situations, the gaze of a male figure violates the female body by blatantly and unapologetically sexualizing it. Although these two men do not seem to affect Nina or Lily, the men do in fact alter the way the two women view their bodies. Nina shies away from the man on the subway and does not take action, allows him to continue masturbating. In the second scene, Lily initially flirts back, but later, frowns and tells the waiter off. Nina, however, does not look critically at the waiter who harasses Lily. Nina even looks to Lily respectfully during the conversation with the waiter, trying to discern how Lily attracts and responds to the male gaze.
Of course, the rebellious, black-wing-tattooed Lily is inextricably linked to the sexual being Thomas describes, to the "letting go" he obsesses over. Nina begins to see Lily as her alter ego, as a foil to her white swan persona. At times, Nina even sees Lily as having her own face, which further reveals Nina's deteriorating mental health and paranoia. Although Lily seduces the audience by presenting herself as a sexually liberated being, she is far from a healthy one. As we can see from Lily's lack of concern for others -- Lily repeatedly throws herself at men for attention, attempts to drug Nina with the help of two male strangers, and abandons the "rolling" Nina at the club -- her character is no more stable and no less performative than Nina's.
Ultimately, Nina's attempts to balance two disparate performances -- the white swan and the black swan -- lead to her own destruction. Unable to sustain both of the personas at the same time, she begins to see each of them as a separate person, each an enemy of the other. Nina's lack of control over her own life, her obsession with a perfection that is linked to pleasing Thomas, and her inability to develop and mature as a human being of her own choosing ultimately drive her into insanity. In this process, whatever remains of Nina's self is destroyed as it is replaced by the directions and desires of another -- predominantly of the main male character, Thomas. Nina's eventual acquiescence to a male dominated and controlled version of her body, the film posits at its close, amounts to a kind of suicide she doesn't know she's committing. The pursuit of another's perfection leads, in the end, to a complete annihilation of self. The film suggests this radical destruction of self-determination and of possibility -- of life itself -- are what women in a male dominated society face in everyday life.
Although Nina's character lives in a fictional plane, the issues that plague her life exist within our reality. Women and men alike are inundated with superficial images and ideas advertised as a means of developing a sense of self-worth and self-fulfillment. These problematic beliefs are then absorbed as truth and further perpetuated by us, our family members, friends, and colleagues. Based on this form of "education," we watch and police each other; we obsess over and alter our presentations of ourselves; we perform for each other until we are mentally unable to sustain the act.
Instead of addressing our society's unhealthy policing of the female psyche and body at home, at work, and in the media, many viewers of the film reinforce the normalization of gender performance by focusing on physical definitions of worth -- Portman's thinned body, the feminine, feathery fashion, the seductive makeup. Some focus exclusively on the violence or the sex scenes between Portman and Kunis, finding these both erotic and entertaining, which is not only problematic but also reminiscent of Thomas's character. Interpreting the film is such a limited manner makes the viewer complicit in reinforcing the authority of the male gaze and the necessity of having women participate in a predetermined, highly sexualized gender performance.
A few critics have also claimed that Black Swan is merely a critique of the ballet industry -- a critique that a number of professional ballerinas have claimed is inaccurate. However, limiting Black Swan to the arena of the ballerina (or that of the artist) ignores the profound relationship between gender and power presented within the film. Black Swan uses ballet as a vehicle to make the topic of gender performance more tangible to us. The psychological horrors presented in the film are very real in our world, though not necessarily as pronounced. These horrors exist in our everyday lives, and the more we close our eyes, the more we neglect the cause of their existence, the more pervasive they will become.

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