MUSLIMAH BAYWATCH: “A TALE UNTOLD” SHE HAS KEPT RESERVED WITH HER INNER HIJAB WHICH IS HER SENSE OF MODESTY.
A hijab is a head covering only. It can be worn many different ways
including as a simple wrap around, shown here, or Al Amirah style.
Regular clothes that cover the arms, shoulders and legs may be worn
with the hijab. Women who wear the hijab are Muhajaba, which means
they are wearing it for religious purposes.
An abaya is a long black, loose fitting dress that often zips
or buttons up the front. The sheila is the black scarf that
covers the head. Usually made of light silk material and
most often found in black, but can be as simple or
elaborate as the wearer so chooses. Generally these
garments are part of a regions traditional dress, and are
therefore worn for cultural reasons rather than religious purposes.
OFTEN MISTAKEN FOR A BURQA, THE NIQAB FULLY COVERS THE BODY
, BUT ONLY PARTIALLY COVERS THE FACE, LEAVING A NARROW OPENING
FOR THE EYES. DRIVING WHILE VEILED: NOW A MISDEMEANOR IN FRANCE.
The Batula is a face covering generally worn by older women in the Gulf region. This is a style that is slowly being depleted and not carried forward by younger generations.
BURQAS COME IN MANY COLORS AND FULLY COVERS THE WEARER,
OFTEN THERE IS A NET WINDOW OVER
THE EYES SO THE WEARER CAN SEE OUT, BUT NO ONE CAN SEE IN.
This particular burqa is called the chadri, the light blue color
and style is native to Afghanistan.
“A tale untold” is supposed to mean her personality which she has kept reserved with her inner hijab which is her sense of modesty.
A SECRET LOCKED” IS SUPPOSED TO MEAN, A MUSLIM WOMAN’S BEAUTY, WHICH SHE HAS KEPT UNDER HER PHYSICAL HIJAB, “A TALE UNTOLD” IS SUPPOSED TO MEAN HER PERSONALITY WHICH SHE HAS KEPT RESERVED WITH HER INNER HIJAB WHICH IS HER SENSE OF MODESTY.
“A tale untold” is supposed to mean her personality which she has kept reserved with her inner hijab which is her sense of modesty.
A SECRET LOCKED” IS SUPPOSED TO MEAN, A MUSLIM WOMAN’S BEAUTY, WHICH SHE HAS KEPT UNDER HER PHYSICAL HIJAB, “A TALE UNTOLD” IS SUPPOSED TO MEAN HER PERSONALITY WHICH SHE HAS KEPT RESERVED WITH HER INNER HIJAB WHICH IS HER SENSE OF MODESTY.
Wedding Night of a Muslim Woman
Wedding Night of a Muslim Woman
My secret locked, a tale untold,
The only key, within your hand,
Too sacred for them to behold,
Too pure for them to understand.
Tonight I tell that tale to you,
An open book for you to read,
Your book, I yearn to read it too,
And share each breath, your every need.
Gone the lonesome years, weeks, days,
For now our hearts have taken flight,
You look at me with longing gaze,
And I, at you with shy delight.
Love me; love all that I am,
Cherish me as precious treasure,
Teach me with gentle guiding hand
Endlessly seeking His pleasure.
Poem By Fatima Barkatulla
This poem is from Sisters Magazine
______________________________________
What did your wedding night mean to you? I wrote this a few days ago and tried to capture the feelings one has after ones wedding: that evening when for the first time I prayed with my husband, and spent my first hours with him. My wedding day and the early days or weeks after marriage were the dearest days of my life to me. Alhamdulillah since then Allah has given us even more depth to our relationship and has given us wonderful days too, but those early weeks, they are unique. And for a girl from a religious family, who had worn her hijab from the age of 9, it was a totally new experience. Alhamdulillah for the blessings of this life which give us a glimpse as to how wonderful the blessings of the next life might be…
Explanation of the poem: (just to prevent any misunderstandings!)
Well, actually it is about the beauty of Muslim Marriage in general, not just my own personal experience. And it is about how the Wedding Night is the first time that a Muslim couple get to really understand each other’s personalities.
“A secret locked” is supposed to mean, a Muslim woman’s beauty, which she has kept under her physical hijab, “A tale untold” is supposed to mean her personality which she has kept reserved with her inner hijab which is her sense of modesty.
“The only key within your hand”: means that the only person who has access to see her and to get to know her is her husband. The next two lines mean that the people around her, men and women who don’t understand hijab, can’t see the purity in it and are not allowed to see the precious nature of the Muslim women beneath.
“Tonight I tell that tale to you” is meant to mean: that tonight the Muslim woman is able to freely express her personality and tell her life-story to someone at last who really is interested and wants to hear.
The “open book” meaning the story of her life, her biography so far. And the next lines: That she too longs to understand her new husband and where he has been, what he has done and what experiences have made him who he is.
“For now our hearts have taken flight” means that it is on the Wedding Night that Allah puts true love between your hearts, as you get to spend more time with each other.
“You look at me with longing gaze, And I at you with shy delight”, well, there I tried to capture the fact that now the couple can freely look at each other.
The last four verses contain the message that a Muslim woman has for her husband about their marriage to come: to love her and all the good in her, to cherish her and value her, to correct her gently if she needs correcting, to teach her with wisdom, bearing in mind that their life is all about seeking Allah’s pleasure.
My intention for writing it was
1. A sheer sense of creativity,
2. To show to those people who think that the way a Muslim woman is outside her home: (reserved and covered), is backward, extreme, oppressive – that actually, because she reserves herself and covers herself, her Wedding Night is that much more beautiful for her.
3.To give people an insight into how beautiful marriage is for those who have kept themselves chaste, as opposed to those who have casual relationships and don’t reserve themselves with the opposite sex and freely mix with them.
Basically good PR for Muslim marriage!
If you have ever experienced the end of an intimate relationship (and chances are you have), I’m sure you are familiar with the common denominators of intimate relationship endings: anger, anxiety, sadness/depression, despair, relief. What I’ve learned as a psychologist — and personally, too — is that it is how you use these emotions that determines whether your intimate relationship ending is categorized as either the Good, the Bad or the Ugly. Think of how your last intimate relationship ended and judge to which category it belongs. Be honest.
Wedding Night of a Muslim Woman
My secret locked, a tale untold,
The only key, within your hand,
Too sacred for them to behold,
Too pure for them to understand.
Tonight I tell that tale to you,
An open book for you to read,
Your book, I yearn to read it too,
And share each breath, your every need.
Gone the lonesome years, weeks, days,
For now our hearts have taken flight,
You look at me with longing gaze,
And I, at you with shy delight.
Love me; love all that I am,
Cherish me as precious treasure,
Teach me with gentle guiding hand
Endlessly seeking His pleasure.
Poem By Fatima Barkatulla
This poem is from Sisters Magazine
______________________________________
What did your wedding night mean to you? I wrote this a few days ago and tried to capture the feelings one has after ones wedding: that evening when for the first time I prayed with my husband, and spent my first hours with him. My wedding day and the early days or weeks after marriage were the dearest days of my life to me. Alhamdulillah since then Allah has given us even more depth to our relationship and has given us wonderful days too, but those early weeks, they are unique. And for a girl from a religious family, who had worn her hijab from the age of 9, it was a totally new experience. Alhamdulillah for the blessings of this life which give us a glimpse as to how wonderful the blessings of the next life might be…
Explanation of the poem: (just to prevent any misunderstandings!)
Well, actually it is about the beauty of Muslim Marriage in general, not just my own personal experience. And it is about how the Wedding Night is the first time that a Muslim couple get to really understand each other’s personalities.
“A secret locked” is supposed to mean, a Muslim woman’s beauty, which she has kept under her physical hijab, “A tale untold” is supposed to mean her personality which she has kept reserved with her inner hijab which is her sense of modesty.
“The only key within your hand”: means that the only person who has access to see her and to get to know her is her husband. The next two lines mean that the people around her, men and women who don’t understand hijab, can’t see the purity in it and are not allowed to see the precious nature of the Muslim women beneath.
“Tonight I tell that tale to you” is meant to mean: that tonight the Muslim woman is able to freely express her personality and tell her life-story to someone at last who really is interested and wants to hear.
The “open book” meaning the story of her life, her biography so far. And the next lines: That she too longs to understand her new husband and where he has been, what he has done and what experiences have made him who he is.
“For now our hearts have taken flight” means that it is on the Wedding Night that Allah puts true love between your hearts, as you get to spend more time with each other.
“You look at me with longing gaze, And I at you with shy delight”, well, there I tried to capture the fact that now the couple can freely look at each other.
The last four verses contain the message that a Muslim woman has for her husband about their marriage to come: to love her and all the good in her, to cherish her and value her, to correct her gently if she needs correcting, to teach her with wisdom, bearing in mind that their life is all about seeking Allah’s pleasure.
My intention for writing it was
1. A sheer sense of creativity,
2. To show to those people who think that the way a Muslim woman is outside her home: (reserved and covered), is backward, extreme, oppressive – that actually, because she reserves herself and covers herself, her Wedding Night is that much more beautiful for her.
3.To give people an insight into how beautiful marriage is for those who have kept themselves chaste, as opposed to those who have casual relationships and don’t reserve themselves with the opposite sex and freely mix with them.
Basically good PR for Muslim marriage!
If you have ever experienced the end of an intimate relationship (and chances are you have), I’m sure you are familiar with the common denominators of intimate relationship endings: anger, anxiety, sadness/depression, despair, relief. What I’ve learned as a psychologist — and personally, too — is that it is how you use these emotions that determines whether your intimate relationship ending is categorized as either the Good, the Bad or the Ugly. Think of how your last intimate relationship ended and judge to which category it belongs. Be honest.
Start with anger, a frequent ending for divorce and sudden breakups due to extenuating circumstances like cheating.
The Bad: the anger prevents you from doing your daily business. You find it hard to concentrate and impossible to feel relaxed, and you become short and irritable with others, even those who offer support.
The Ugly: your anger is out of control. You verbally abuse your significant other to anyone who will listen, obsessively scheme how you can make his or her life miserable, imagine yourself doing all sorts of villainous but “justified” acts, show up at his or her office for a “scene” and maybe even spit at him or her. That’s ugly.
The Good: Become an “anger athlete” by using some of anger’s key functions. First, see it as a cue that something is wrong; in this case, what’s wrong is that your relationship, for whatever reason, is over, and there is nothing you can do about it, so there is no point in making it bad and ugly. Next, use your anger to mobilize your resources so that you can move on with your life. Do this by transforming your anger arousal into directed energy: “What’s the best thing to do?” You will realize that moving on is a much better option than making your anger bad and ugly.
Regardless of how your relationship ended, you are now in the midst of a “new” experience, so it is natural that you experience anxiety.
The Ugly: your anger is out of control. You verbally abuse your significant other to anyone who will listen, obsessively scheme how you can make his or her life miserable, imagine yourself doing all sorts of villainous but “justified” acts, show up at his or her office for a “scene” and maybe even spit at him or her. That’s ugly.
The Good: Become an “anger athlete” by using some of anger’s key functions. First, see it as a cue that something is wrong; in this case, what’s wrong is that your relationship, for whatever reason, is over, and there is nothing you can do about it, so there is no point in making it bad and ugly. Next, use your anger to mobilize your resources so that you can move on with your life. Do this by transforming your anger arousal into directed energy: “What’s the best thing to do?” You will realize that moving on is a much better option than making your anger bad and ugly.
Regardless of how your relationship ended, you are now in the midst of a “new” experience, so it is natural that you experience anxiety.
The Bad: you wake up feeling unsettled. Unlike your angry thoughts, which blame and demand retribution, your anxious thoughts immediately focus on the questions, “What will happen to me? What will I do?” You will feel like you are worrying all the time, and your work performance will probably take a hit.
The Ugly: sleeping will become difficult, and there will be intermittent crying, maybe a physical symptom or two and a few trips to a recommended psychiatrist for some meds or the latest magnetic cranial device.
The Good: Anxiety communicates uncertainty and vulnerability, so use your anxiety to assess what you are uncertain about, where you are feeling vulnerable. Use your answers for a cognitive reality check and to guide you into actions that will help you feel more secure. Continually reminding yourself that “newness” can be fun and exciting will help rid some of your anxiety.
No one would dispute the fact that the ending of an intimate relationship — especially by death — is a great loss, so depression says “hello.”
The Ugly: sleeping will become difficult, and there will be intermittent crying, maybe a physical symptom or two and a few trips to a recommended psychiatrist for some meds or the latest magnetic cranial device.
The Good: Anxiety communicates uncertainty and vulnerability, so use your anxiety to assess what you are uncertain about, where you are feeling vulnerable. Use your answers for a cognitive reality check and to guide you into actions that will help you feel more secure. Continually reminding yourself that “newness” can be fun and exciting will help rid some of your anxiety.
No one would dispute the fact that the ending of an intimate relationship — especially by death — is a great loss, so depression says “hello.”
The Bad: you wake up every morning feeling sorry for yourself; cry frequently with the accompanying thought, “My life will never be the same”; eat much more than you need; and tell anyone who will listen your woes.
The Ugly: you don’t want to get out of bed, forget about work and believe there is no future. Eating and sleeping become rare, and moping around is your norm. You avoid your friends, stay home and have zero interest in anything. The more you try to suppress your pain, the more it hurts. The best you can do is to muster up your energy to see the psychiatrist.
The Good: you allow yourself to “befriend” your feelings, so that you can heal your wound and move on. You might think, “It was great while it lasted, and it hurts to lose it, but I will feel better.” Instead of avoiding your friends, use them as a support group. Inevitably, depression becomes sadness, which will eventually lessen so that hope, optimism and enthusiasm enter your picture.
Whether the relationship ends through divorce or a breakup, relief is often felt.
The Ugly: you don’t want to get out of bed, forget about work and believe there is no future. Eating and sleeping become rare, and moping around is your norm. You avoid your friends, stay home and have zero interest in anything. The more you try to suppress your pain, the more it hurts. The best you can do is to muster up your energy to see the psychiatrist.
The Good: you allow yourself to “befriend” your feelings, so that you can heal your wound and move on. You might think, “It was great while it lasted, and it hurts to lose it, but I will feel better.” Instead of avoiding your friends, use them as a support group. Inevitably, depression becomes sadness, which will eventually lessen so that hope, optimism and enthusiasm enter your picture.
Whether the relationship ends through divorce or a breakup, relief is often felt.
The Bad: you get down on yourself for staying in such a bad relationship. Your self-esteem might take a hit.
The Ugly: you become relationship-traumatized and say, “Never again.”
The Good: you interpet your relief as a reward for ending a relationship that you no longer wanted. Celebrate that you’re out!
Relationship endings are tough for all of us, but your task is clear when you experience one: minimize the bad, avoid the ugly and make it good!
The Ugly: you become relationship-traumatized and say, “Never again.”
The Good: you interpet your relief as a reward for ending a relationship that you no longer wanted. Celebrate that you’re out!
Relationship endings are tough for all of us, but your task is clear when you experience one: minimize the bad, avoid the ugly and make it good!
By Abdul Hannan Siwani Nadvi
Lecturing Muslims, targeting Islamic Shariah, and making a mockery of Muslims and their lifestyle has become a fashion of this era. Everyone wants to kill Muslims. Everyone wants to damage the image of Muslims and Islam.
There are hundreds of thousands of organizations, sites, educated personalities, volunteers, workers and activists whose work is only to put always Muslims and Islam on target.They are being paid for this work, and sometimes they have been awarded in open ceremony by Western and European countries.Indeed, Islam and Muslims are under attack from all corners. Military operations led by United States are underway in most Muslim countries. Cultural and educational hatred campaign against Muslims and Islam is being carried out by so-called educated and contractors of democracy in non-Muslim world.Someone is making cartoons on Prophet Mohammad (Sallallaho Alaihe wasallam), someone is supporting bans on veil, and someone is burning the Qura’an and destroying Masjids. It seems, it is all-out war against Muslims, Islam and their messenger.Mr. Khushwant Singh is also one of them. He is known as an educated and prominent writer but his thoughts and thinking is very ridiculous. His thoughts about Burqa and Muslims show that he is still away from the real sprit of knowledge.Mr. Khushwant Singh in his article published in Hindustan Times on April 30, 2011, says lot of things about Burqa. He seeks a Fatwa from Darul Uloom (Deoband) for abolishing Hijab, such as, he wants a Fatwa from Azhar University to support French government’s decision slapping ban on veil, and even he prays for returning of Kamal Ata Turk who had banned veil in Turkey. He says Turkey is the most advanced Muslim country because it had banned Burqa. According to him, lower middle class is only use Naqab or veil etc.According to him, abolishing of Burqa is a sign of advancement and wearing of Burqa is a sign of ignorant.Reading his article about Burqa, I had been thinking how a person who has written various books and has a place in all classes in the country can discuss such kind of ridiculous and ludicrous ideology.Mr. Khushwant Singh; or anyone has no right to lecture Muslims, or interfere in Islamic Sharia. Who allowed him, or them to do so?Is he not adopting double standards? He demands ban on Burqa, while the people of his community had been expressing its concerns when the Turban was banned in America after 9/11.Traditions of other communities are respectable, but, traditions of Islam and Muslims are not acceptable; why? Nuns in Christians use special dress that covers her body from head to toe. Is this not an old tradition? Why no one raises the voice to ban on Christian veil?
It is very old tradition in Hindus where Hindu women cover her face with their sari. Are these things not ridiculous and anti-advancement?
All communities in the world can practice according to their tradition and religion; if Muslims do same thing, so it is called an un-civilized exercise. What nonsense is this? What Muslims or Muslim women do or not do, it is not related to anyone. Who gave the right to such people to blame on Muslims and mocking at Muslim women for wearing Burqa?Why he, or others, like him, have objection over Islamic traditions? Why he wants Fatwa from Deoband and Azhar University to abolish wearing veil?They scream seeing Burqa clad women; while they keep their mouth shut when Muslim women demand justice and equality.What he and others, like him, did for the justice of women who have been subjected of rape in Gujarat in 2002? Why he does not raise the voice for punishing to those who destroyed the dignity of women?Such kind of people knows only how to blame Muslims and target of Islam, because it brings fame, money and attention of world. This kind of thoughts confirms awards for him and for others, like him.How can he compare wearing of Burqa with retrogression, while Sikh men too use Turban and sport beard as a religious tradition. Does this mean that the Sikh men wearing Turban are uneducated?How can a veil become a symbol of retrogression? The women in France, who are insisting on wearing veil and using it in their daily life, are most educated women and they are aware about all ups and downs of the society. These women, who had been called educated and civilized before Islam; turned a threat to the country by embracing Islam. What nonsense is this?
There are hundreds of thousands of organizations, sites, educated personalities, volunteers, workers and activists whose work is only to put always Muslims and Islam on target.They are being paid for this work, and sometimes they have been awarded in open ceremony by Western and European countries.Indeed, Islam and Muslims are under attack from all corners. Military operations led by United States are underway in most Muslim countries. Cultural and educational hatred campaign against Muslims and Islam is being carried out by so-called educated and contractors of democracy in non-Muslim world.Someone is making cartoons on Prophet Mohammad (Sallallaho Alaihe wasallam), someone is supporting bans on veil, and someone is burning the Qura’an and destroying Masjids. It seems, it is all-out war against Muslims, Islam and their messenger.Mr. Khushwant Singh is also one of them. He is known as an educated and prominent writer but his thoughts and thinking is very ridiculous. His thoughts about Burqa and Muslims show that he is still away from the real sprit of knowledge.Mr. Khushwant Singh in his article published in Hindustan Times on April 30, 2011, says lot of things about Burqa. He seeks a Fatwa from Darul Uloom (Deoband) for abolishing Hijab, such as, he wants a Fatwa from Azhar University to support French government’s decision slapping ban on veil, and even he prays for returning of Kamal Ata Turk who had banned veil in Turkey. He says Turkey is the most advanced Muslim country because it had banned Burqa. According to him, lower middle class is only use Naqab or veil etc.According to him, abolishing of Burqa is a sign of advancement and wearing of Burqa is a sign of ignorant.Reading his article about Burqa, I had been thinking how a person who has written various books and has a place in all classes in the country can discuss such kind of ridiculous and ludicrous ideology.Mr. Khushwant Singh; or anyone has no right to lecture Muslims, or interfere in Islamic Sharia. Who allowed him, or them to do so?Is he not adopting double standards? He demands ban on Burqa, while the people of his community had been expressing its concerns when the Turban was banned in America after 9/11.Traditions of other communities are respectable, but, traditions of Islam and Muslims are not acceptable; why? Nuns in Christians use special dress that covers her body from head to toe. Is this not an old tradition? Why no one raises the voice to ban on Christian veil?
It is very old tradition in Hindus where Hindu women cover her face with their sari. Are these things not ridiculous and anti-advancement?
All communities in the world can practice according to their tradition and religion; if Muslims do same thing, so it is called an un-civilized exercise. What nonsense is this? What Muslims or Muslim women do or not do, it is not related to anyone. Who gave the right to such people to blame on Muslims and mocking at Muslim women for wearing Burqa?Why he, or others, like him, have objection over Islamic traditions? Why he wants Fatwa from Deoband and Azhar University to abolish wearing veil?They scream seeing Burqa clad women; while they keep their mouth shut when Muslim women demand justice and equality.What he and others, like him, did for the justice of women who have been subjected of rape in Gujarat in 2002? Why he does not raise the voice for punishing to those who destroyed the dignity of women?Such kind of people knows only how to blame Muslims and target of Islam, because it brings fame, money and attention of world. This kind of thoughts confirms awards for him and for others, like him.How can he compare wearing of Burqa with retrogression, while Sikh men too use Turban and sport beard as a religious tradition. Does this mean that the Sikh men wearing Turban are uneducated?How can a veil become a symbol of retrogression? The women in France, who are insisting on wearing veil and using it in their daily life, are most educated women and they are aware about all ups and downs of the society. These women, who had been called educated and civilized before Islam; turned a threat to the country by embracing Islam. What nonsense is this?
In Punjab, in some instances it has been seen that the wife of elder brother also becomes wife and object of sexual desire to all younger brothers in a family just to save the huge property from getting into other hands. Just see how materialistic is such a society who doesn’t give a damn respct to women at all. Why Mr. Khushwant Singh and others of his like keep silent over such issues and do not raise their voices against such inhuman practice?
There are hundreds and thousands of women in other religions where they have been subjected of rape, live like animals, and face every kind of harassments by their own husbands, brothers and family members; why he does not say about them, about their culture and traditions?
The situation of non-Muslim women is more dangerous than Burqa clad women. Rape of sister by father or brother called incest is common. Is this not true? Then, how Mr. Khushwant Singh, or others, like him, can lecture us?
In a culture where women work as prostitutes or act as sexual objects is acceptable is acceptable to Mr. Khuswant Singh and others in the western world, then how can this western culture can accept burqa clad women who cover their body and protect their dignity from the people who figure them just a sex machine.When Ulema, Muslim scholars, and Muslim countries raise no objection over dress, traditions and prayer of non-Muslims, then why, and, how people from different religions advice and lecture Muslims on what they should do or not do?It is better for Mr. Khushwant Singh not to write anything about Muslim women, as well as, keep himself away from interfering in Islamic Shariah. If he is very keen in writing about the conditions of women, so he is free to write about the women, who belong to other communities. Or, if he wants to write something about Islam and Muslim women, so, he must first study Islamic Shariah, rules and Islamic teachings before passing any comment about Muslim women or Islam.
In a culture where women work as prostitutes or act as sexual objects is acceptable is acceptable to Mr. Khuswant Singh and others in the western world, then how can this western culture can accept burqa clad women who cover their body and protect their dignity from the people who figure them just a sex machine.When Ulema, Muslim scholars, and Muslim countries raise no objection over dress, traditions and prayer of non-Muslims, then why, and, how people from different religions advice and lecture Muslims on what they should do or not do?It is better for Mr. Khushwant Singh not to write anything about Muslim women, as well as, keep himself away from interfering in Islamic Shariah. If he is very keen in writing about the conditions of women, so he is free to write about the women, who belong to other communities. Or, if he wants to write something about Islam and Muslim women, so, he must first study Islamic Shariah, rules and Islamic teachings before passing any comment about Muslim women or Islam.
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It may come as a surprise to many people, but the most desirable length forsexis just 10 minutes, a survey of has revealed. A survey of 50 members of the Society for Sex Threapy and Research, who counsel and treat couples with sexual problems, said that between one and two minutes was too short, three to seven minutes was acceptable, and anything over 13 minutes was too long.
The added that sex lasting between seven and 13 minutes was “desirable”.
Contrary to popular fantasy about the need for hours of passionate activity, sex therapists say around ten minutes is perfectly satisfactory.
“Many men and women seem to believe the fantasy of all-night-long intercourse,” the Telegraphquoted researcher Eric Corty, an associate professor of psychology at Penn State University, as saying.
“This seems a situation ripe for disappointment and dissatisfaction.
“We hope this survey will dispel fantasies and encourage men and women with realistic data,” Corty added. In the middle of a great lovemaking session, you suddenly realize your partner is not sharing your rhythm, the ecstatic pitch. You feel he isn’t so into you in that moment of extreme physical intimacy.
Is-he thinking-of-someone-else or he-doesn’t-find-me-sexually-attractive-anymore kind of thoughts cloud your mind instantly. Mostly women are able to sense this sudden change in their spouse’s body language while in the act. For them, it is an excruciatingly frustrating experience which leads them to see sexologists, make amends to their lifestyle, and read up on how to be desirable again.
But what exactly triggers sexual fantasies while having sex? Does it spell doom for a relationship? Is dissatisfaction a plausible reason or another myth? Here are some interesting finding…
Craving for raw sex
‘As dirty as can get’ maybe the way your guy wants it, but is apprehensive to spell it out to you. He wants basic sex similar to that in porn flicks and thinks he would put a dampener by even suggesting the idea. Your partner may harbour fantasies about having steamy romp while doing the physical act with you. Says Dr. S.K Sharma, clinical psychologist and lifestyle advisor, “For some it is to add thrill, while for others it adds novelty value.” Though he feels that lack of fulfillment in arelationship or partner’s attractiveness may play a role, but mostly it is a person’s own desire to feel stimulated.
‘As dirty as can get’ maybe the way your guy wants it, but is apprehensive to spell it out to you. He wants basic sex similar to that in porn flicks and thinks he would put a dampener by even suggesting the idea. Your partner may harbour fantasies about having steamy romp while doing the physical act with you. Says Dr. S.K Sharma, clinical psychologist and lifestyle advisor, “For some it is to add thrill, while for others it adds novelty value.” Though he feels that lack of fulfillment in arelationship or partner’s attractiveness may play a role, but mostly it is a person’s own desire to feel stimulated.
Fantasizing about celebs
“I have often fantasized about having sex with Marilyn Monroe and Pamela Anderson,” reveals Prateek (name changed), a banker. But he maintains that such thoughts are only restricted to masturbation, and not while making out with his girlfriend. Agrees Dr. Sharma, “It is but natural for some to fantasize about celebrities, though there are others who fantasize about someone known.” Scantily clad models or the girl from the last porn movie could be on his mind while making love to you; it excites him to perform better and feel fully aroused. “If taken in a positive sense it can enhance your sex life and the relationship as well. In fact, it is a safe way of sexual release and even emotional satisfaction,” he adds.
“I have often fantasized about having sex with Marilyn Monroe and Pamela Anderson,” reveals Prateek (name changed), a banker. But he maintains that such thoughts are only restricted to masturbation, and not while making out with his girlfriend. Agrees Dr. Sharma, “It is but natural for some to fantasize about celebrities, though there are others who fantasize about someone known.” Scantily clad models or the girl from the last porn movie could be on his mind while making love to you; it excites him to perform better and feel fully aroused. “If taken in a positive sense it can enhance your sex life and the relationship as well. In fact, it is a safe way of sexual release and even emotional satisfaction,” he adds.
Foreplay and a big orgasm
Foreplay may not top the chart of many. It is possible that your partner is too tired for foreplay and just wants an orgasm before retiring for the day. This happens tocouples with kids or the ones running a very stressful routine at work. In such a scenario, the more active sex partner finds a vent to his suppressed desires by way of fantasies. Lust for a bigger orgasm also drives one to indulge in sexual fantasies. Believes Dr. Rajendra Barve, psychologist, “A person resorts to fantasies when he is trying to satisfy his partner, and the partner is not sufficiently enthused. This can bring about a disconnect in their most intimate moment. However, there is no harm in fantasizing about people at random. Only when the fantasies revolve around a certain, known person is there a reason to worry.”
Foreplay may not top the chart of many. It is possible that your partner is too tired for foreplay and just wants an orgasm before retiring for the day. This happens tocouples with kids or the ones running a very stressful routine at work. In such a scenario, the more active sex partner finds a vent to his suppressed desires by way of fantasies. Lust for a bigger orgasm also drives one to indulge in sexual fantasies. Believes Dr. Rajendra Barve, psychologist, “A person resorts to fantasies when he is trying to satisfy his partner, and the partner is not sufficiently enthused. This can bring about a disconnect in their most intimate moment. However, there is no harm in fantasizing about people at random. Only when the fantasies revolve around a certain, known person is there a reason to worry.”
Dr. Barve shares with us a very curious case he’d handled many years back. It was about a married lady who suspected something amiss in her sexual companionship with her husband. “And one day he cried out a name while having sex with her. It turned out to be the name of her sister, and as fate would have it her husband was having a secret liaison with the sister-in-law,” says he.
Experimentation, a ‘no-no’!
Often when couples have been together for a longish period, they get used to each other’s sexual needs and habits. And ‘experimentation’ becomes a dreaded word. They follow a routine without even sparing a thought towards a revamped sex life. Some think the easiest way out is to succumb to sexual fantasies while engaged in a physical act with their partners. But Dr. Madhumati Singh, senior psychologist, thinks fantasizing is the sign of a healthy, creative mind. “A lot of them fantasize about having sex with a virgin. It is apparently a great turn on. A lot of happy couples find bliss in fantasizing,” she shares. So much so, she even feels that harbouring thoughts of another person while having sex doesn’t in any way strain a relationship. She is, however, quick to add, “Thoughts take you where horses can’t fly, but after that it is again back to the real world.”
Often when couples have been together for a longish period, they get used to each other’s sexual needs and habits. And ‘experimentation’ becomes a dreaded word. They follow a routine without even sparing a thought towards a revamped sex life. Some think the easiest way out is to succumb to sexual fantasies while engaged in a physical act with their partners. But Dr. Madhumati Singh, senior psychologist, thinks fantasizing is the sign of a healthy, creative mind. “A lot of them fantasize about having sex with a virgin. It is apparently a great turn on. A lot of happy couples find bliss in fantasizing,” she shares. So much so, she even feels that harbouring thoughts of another person while having sex doesn’t in any way strain a relationship. She is, however, quick to add, “Thoughts take you where horses can’t fly, but after that it is again back to the real world.”
Lingerie love
A woman’s way of dressing up plays a huge role in giving men an arousal. No matter how traditional his outlook, he’d want his partner to look hot and sexy in bed. Tease him by donning sensual reveal-all, black lace lingerie, and he will not be able to keep his hands off you. It is a truly erotic, and of course, pragmatic way of getting your man’s attention and not letting it waver! But there are few who take this obsession for a sexy-looking partner to a new level. Explains Dr. Barve, “I once heard from a married couple who were not able to sexually satisfy each other. Her husband was completely taken in by yesteryear dancing queen, Helen, and wanted a piece of her in his wife. He even went to the extent of dressing her up in feathery, revealing outfits before seducing her to bed. Unfortunately, such an arrangement didn’t work for very long, and the wife eventually got tired of the role play.”
A woman’s way of dressing up plays a huge role in giving men an arousal. No matter how traditional his outlook, he’d want his partner to look hot and sexy in bed. Tease him by donning sensual reveal-all, black lace lingerie, and he will not be able to keep his hands off you. It is a truly erotic, and of course, pragmatic way of getting your man’s attention and not letting it waver! But there are few who take this obsession for a sexy-looking partner to a new level. Explains Dr. Barve, “I once heard from a married couple who were not able to sexually satisfy each other. Her husband was completely taken in by yesteryear dancing queen, Helen, and wanted a piece of her in his wife. He even went to the extent of dressing her up in feathery, revealing outfits before seducing her to bed. Unfortunately, such an arrangement didn’t work for very long, and the wife eventually got tired of the role play.”
Then, what is the right proportion of fantasy and reality in a relationship?
As Dr. Madhumati rightly sums it up, “Just reality gives you 5-out-of-10 level of satisfaction in a relationship, but fantasizing about a beautiful sexual experience can make it 7 out of 10!”
Katrina Kaif (Hindi: कत्रिना कैफ़) (born Katrina Turquotte on 16 July 1984) is a Hong Kong-born British-Indian actress and model who has appeared in Hindi,Telugu andMalayalam films in India. Since 2007 she has starred in several commercially successful films, which made her one of the popular actresses in current Bollywood.
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Katrina Kaif sister Isabelle Kaif caught on leaked sex video resulting in a scandal? Isabel, a young starlet from the United Kingdom, is a hot Indian babe hell bent upon gatecrashing into Bollywood. And she is getting help from Bollywood heavy hitters like Salman Khan and her sister Katrina. But why is Salman Khan equally bent upon helping her out? It would be natural for anyone maybe, not only for Salman, to have a sexy young thing especially if she has a striking resemblance to his steady girlfriend Katrina Kaif. But what will a sex tape scandal do to their plans to usurpIsabel Kaif pass other young starlets into the highest level of Bollywood stardom? And by the ending of this sex tape, there is a part 2 somewhere.
Download the Sex Video After the Screen Shots Below!
Here is a stunning homemade sex tape of a hot chick who people are saying isIsabel Kaif. And she does look a lot like the sister of famous and super beautiful Bollywood actress/model Katrina Kaif. In the video she is clearly seen having sexual relations with an unknown man for over 10 minutes. But others say it is probably a lookalike of Isabel Kaif, younger sibling of Bollywood superstar Katrina Kaif. This video came out from UK some time ago. People are now saying that this is Isabel Kaif who recently became known for her upcoming Bollywood movies. Reportedly some people realized her from this home made sex video that began to circulated on the Internet December 2008 under the heading “Katrina’s Sis Isabel Kaif sex scandal.”
Katrina Kaif has been grooming her younger sister Isabel Kaif for the showbiz life in India and wanted to ensure that her younger sis Isabel gets a grand launch. But certainly not this grand with what is Bollywoods first A-list sex tape. A close friend of Kaif sisters has revealed that elder sister is sharing her experiences and is guiding what to do and what not to right from diet to workout to outfits to parties etc. In Apirl 2008 everyone in Bollywood was asking who was Isabel and by December rumors of a sex video was circulating. I will let you guys decide whether or not it’s her but you must see this hot chick suck and getting fucked missionary style and getting a nice cum facial in the end. Let’s just say she took it like a champ! Download the video after the pictures.
And here she is with big sister Katrina:
Here are the screen shots:
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