Rosmah proves that at 65 she never too old to have fun

Downfall of Arrogance & Complacence
Any big change requires big ideas, decisive leadership and happy coincidence of circumstances. Nothing illustrates this better than the unfolding story Rosmah had to fork out RM1,200 each time she had to dye her hair at home.This time, news of her RM1,200 hairdo has made rounds on international news portals.
Deputy Finance Minister Datuk Ahmad Maslan's concern over complaints by the prime minister's wife on the rising cost of home services proves that for Putrajaya, the people do not come first Nurul Izzah, said today
Party vice-president Nurul Izzah Anwar also asked why it took Datin Seri Rosmah Mansor's complaint about higher charges she incurred to style her hair for the minister to notice the need to monitor prices.
"What about the fate of the lower- and middle-income group that continue to be burdened with the high cost of living?Party vice-president Nurul Izzah Anwar also asked why it took Datin Seri Rosmah Mansor's complaint about higher charges she incurred to style her hair for the minister to notice the need to monitor prices.

Men and women having extra-marital affairs is common these days. One partner usually gets bored with the other, or ‘tempted to cheat’, like in the case of my friend. Have we become so liberal and modern in our approach, that we look for the zing outside our marriage, and have no willpower or want to resist infidelity? What may start out as casual and harmless flirting, suddenly turns into a torrid affair, and before you can stop yourself, it’s too late!

They say living life through the eyes of a child is the key to a long and fulfilling existence. But trapped in the fast-moving modern life, we often lose the spark that makes us alive.
This woman swinging in a park proves that you are never too old, never too busy or never too late to start enjoying life and have some pure and unadulterated fun.
Another reason could be that couples are not being able to ‘cope’, with the hectic lifestyle these days. Due to lack of time and stressful schedules, handling their career, kids, home, social life etc, they get ‘burnt out’, and soon one or both of them start to feel neglected or taken for granted, and and voila! A vacuum emerges! Also, don’t you feel our tolerance levels have gone down and ‘ego’ does not allow one to lose a fight? With all the bickering and arguing, the sparkle is lost.

Ok, so it’s pretty simply. Let’s not allow these cliches to be part of our story. Why lose that sizzle and spunk, when it is in our control? Do you feel like it is disappearing? Maybe you can plan that ‘hot date’, with the hubby, where you entice him with your love. Compliment the wife on how sensuous she looks in that dress you bought her. Get on that plane and escape to an exotic island where its just you, him and the blue ocean. Or just lie in bed in each others arms — communicating and cuddling!
Let’s rediscover the fire, and let our eyes burn with desire, like they did on the day we took our sacred vows. Because without that tingling ingredient called ‘passion’, a marriage will sooner or later lead to heartbreak. And that’s just not worth it right? Hmm…This has put me in the mood to ‘show some loving’ to the hubby.


 What are you waiting for? Tonight is the night!

What goes on in the brain during an orgasm?

It may come as a surprise to many people, but the most desirable length forsexis just 10 minutes, a survey of has revealed. 

A survey of 50 members of the Society for Sex Threapy and Research, who counsel and treat couples with sexual problems, said that between one and two minutes was too short, three to seven minutes was acceptable, and anything over 13 minutes was too long.

The added that sex lasting between seven and 13 minutes was "desirable".

Contrary to popular fantasy about the need for hours of passionate activity, sex therapists say around ten minutes is perfectly satisfactory.

"Many men and women seem to believe the fantasy of all-night-long intercourse," the Telegraphquoted researcher Eric Corty, an associate professor of psychology at Penn State University, as saying.

"This seems a situation ripe for disappointment and dissatisfaction.

"We hope this survey will dispel fantasies and encourage men and women with realistic data," Corty added. In the middle of a great lovemaking session, you suddenly realize your partner is not sharing your rhythm, the ecstatic pitch. You feel he isn't so into you in that moment of extreme physical intimacy.

Is-he thinking-of-someone-else or he-doesn't-find-me-sexually-attractive-anymore kind of thoughts cloud your mind instantly. Mostly women are able to sense this sudden change in their spouse's body language while in the act. For them, it is an excruciatingly frustrating experience which leads them to see sexologists, make amends to their lifestyle, and read up on how to be desirable again.

But what exactly triggers sexual fantasies while having sex? Does it spell doom for a relationship? Is dissatisfaction a plausible reason or another myth? Here are some interesting finding...
Craving for raw sex
'As dirty as can get' maybe the way your guy wants it, but is apprehensive to spell it out to you. He wants basic sex similar to that in porn flicks and thinks he would put a dampener by even suggesting the idea. Your partner may harbour fantasies about having steamy romp while doing the physical act with you. Says Dr. S.K Sharma, clinical psychologist and lifestyle advisor, "For some it is to add thrill, while for others it adds novelty value." Though he feels that lack of fulfillment in arelationship or partner's attractiveness may play a role, but mostly it is a person's own desire to feel stimulated.

Fantasizing about celebs 
"I have often fantasized about having sex with Marilyn Monroe and Pamela Anderson," reveals Prateek (name changed), a banker. But he maintains that such thoughts are only restricted to masturbation, and not while making out with his girlfriend. Agrees Dr. Sharma, "It is but natural for some to fantasize about celebrities, though there are others who fantasize about someone known." Scantily clad models or the girl from the last porn movie could be on his mind while making love to you; it excites him to perform better and feel fully aroused. "If taken in a positive sense it can enhance your sex life and the relationship as well. In fact, it is a safe way of sexual release and even emotional satisfaction," he adds.

Foreplay and a big orgasm 
Foreplay may not top the chart of many. It is possible that your partner is too tired for foreplay and just wants an orgasm before retiring for the day. This happens tocouples with kids or the ones running a very stressful routine at work. In such a scenario, the more active sex partner finds a vent to his suppressed desires by way of fantasies. Lust for a bigger orgasm also drives one to indulge in sexual fantasies. Believes Dr. Rajendra Barve, psychologist, "A person resorts to fantasies when he is trying to satisfy his partner, and the partner is not sufficiently enthused. This can bring about a disconnect in their most intimate moment. However, there is no harm in fantasizing about people at random. Only when the fantasies revolve around a certain, known person is there a reason to worry."

Dr. Barve shares with us a very curious case he'd handled many years back. It was about a married lady who suspected something amiss in her sexual companionship with her husband. "And one day he cried out a name while having sex with her. It turned out to be the name of her sister, and as fate would have it her husband was having a secret liaison with the sister-in-law," says he.

Experimentation, a 'no-no'! 
Often when couples have been together for a longish period, they get used to each other's sexual needs and habits. And 'experimentation' becomes a dreaded word. They follow a routine without even sparing a thought towards a revamped sex life. Some think the easiest way out is to succumb to sexual fantasies while engaged in a physical act with their partners. But Dr. Madhumati Singh, senior psychologist, thinks fantasizing is the sign of a healthy, creative mind. "A lot of them fantasize about having sex with a virgin. It is apparently a great turn on. A lot of happy couples find bliss in fantasizing," she shares. So much so, she even feels that harbouring thoughts of another person while having sex doesn't in any way strain a relationship. She is, however, quick to add, "Thoughts take you where horses can't fly, but after that it is again back to the real world."

Lingerie love 
A woman's way of dressing up plays a huge role in giving men an arousal. No matter how traditional his outlook, he'd want his partner to look hot and sexy in bed. Tease him by donning sensual reveal-all, black lace lingerie, and he will not be able to keep his hands off you. It is a truly erotic, and of course, pragmatic way of getting your man's attention and not letting it waver! But there are few who take this obsession for a sexy-looking partner to a new level. Explains Dr. Barve, "I once heard from a married couple who were not able to sexually satisfy each other. Her husband was completely taken in by yesteryear dancing queen, Helen, and wanted a piece of her in his wife. He even went to the extent of dressing her up in feathery, revealing outfits before seducing her to bed. Unfortunately, such an arrangement didn't work for very long, and the wife eventually got tired of the role play."

Then, what is the right proportion of fantasy and reality in a relationship?

As Dr. Madhumati rightly sums it up, "Just reality gives you 5-out-of-10 level of satisfaction in a relationship, but fantasizing about a beautiful sexual experience can make it 7 out of 10!"

This past May, a Kuwaiti activist named Salwa al-Mutairi ignited a firestorm of controversy by suggesting a radical solution to her country’s growing concern about adultery and premarital sex: why not import “sex slaves” to satisfy lustful Muslim men? Her proposal drew a torrent of criticism, but al-Mutairi remained undeterred, and even went a step further by claiming that her idea was Islamically legitimate. Muslims across the world fiercely rejected her proposal, insisting that al-Mutairi was not only wrong, but also ignorant of the basic tenets of Islam. In truth, however, her idea is not nearly as “un-Islamic” as its critics suggest, and their response reflects a widespread inability to engage with the Islamic tradition

his past May, a Kuwaiti activist named Salwa al-Mutairi ignited a firestorm of controversy by suggesting a radical solution to her country’s growing concern about adultery and premarital sex: why not import “sex slaves” to satisfy lustful Muslim men? Her proposal drew a torrent of criticism, but al-Mutairi remained undeterred, and even went a step further by claiming that her idea was Islamically legitimate. Muslims across the world fiercely rejected her proposal, insisting that al-Mutairi was not only wrong, but also ignorant of the basic tenets of Islam. In truth, however, her idea is not nearly as “un-Islamic” as its critics suggest, and their response reflects a widespread inability to engage with the Islamic tradition.

Muslim women in particular were understandably some of al-Mutairi’s harshest critics. Muna Khan, editor of Al-Arabiya English, wrote a scathing editorial in which she called al-Mutairi's proposal “idiotic” in light of the fact that the Prophet Muhammad freed slaves and forbade adultery. Muslim author Shelina Janmohamed scoffed at al-Mutairi’s claims, calling them “bonkers,” and “about as representative of Muslim thinking as the Pope is a Muslim.” Despite having the best of intentions, both Khan and Janmohamed are unaware of a troubling paradox: they can only declare al-Mutairi's ideas "un-Islamic" by dismissing much of the Muslim legal and historical tradition. As shocking or offensive as it may sound, classical scholars took for granted that “ownership” of a woman gave a Muslim man sexual access to her. They did not consider this “adultery,” and most assumed that the Qur'an itself condoned the practice, referring to concubines with the phrase ma malakat aymanukum (“those whom your right hands possess”). In two passages, the Qur’an praises “those who guard their chastity, except with their wives or what their right hands possess,” [1] and other verses use the phrase to describe female slaves in general. [2] The eminent jurist al-Shafiʻi (d. 820 CE) held that men could take as many concubines as they pleased. [3] Imam Malik (d. 795) ruled that Muslim men could have intercourse with Jewish and Christian slaves, but could not marry them. [4] According to Ahmad bin Hanbal (d. 855), even male slaves could take concubines, [5] and al-Ghazali (d. 1111) approved of men using birth control to prevent their slaves from gaining the rights associated with bearing children. [6] These are not voices from the fray – they are the premier names in Islamic scholarship. The mention of sex with slaves also appears in the hadith literature (accounts of the Prophet Muhammad’s words and deeds). The Prophet Muhammad is well known for freeing slaves and treating them kindly, but according to many hadiths, he permitted his companions to sleep with their female slaves and captives. [7] The book Sahih Bukhari, possibly the most referenced collection of hadiths in the Muslim canon, contains a report in which a companion of the Prophet discusses coitus interruptus (withdrawal), an early method of birth control: We got female captives in the war booty and we used to do coitus interruptus with them. So we asked Allah's Apostle about it and he said, "Do you really do that?" repeating the question thrice, "There is no soul that is destined to exist but will come into existence, till the Day of Resurrection." [8] Here, the Prophet voices no concern about men having sex with captive women; instead he worries that they believe birth control circumvents God’s will. Sahih Bukhari contains several more narrations to the same effect. [9] Other reports even indicate that the Prophet allowed men to sleep with their female slaves in a way that intentionally minimized their rights. In a hadith from Sahih Muslim, a companion explains to Muhammad that withdrawal is useful for a man “who has a slave-girl [...], but he does not like her to have conception so that she may not become umm walad.” [10] Being an umm walad – a concubine with a child by her master – elevated a slave's legal status; practicing withdrawal allowed men to enjoy their slaves' bodies while preventing these women from gaining additional rights. The Prophet’s only response to this was that withdrawal was unnecessary, because the birth of children “is something preordained.” [11] Another report in Sahih Muslim describes a man explaining to Muhammad, “I have a slave-girl who is our servant and she carries water for us and I have intercourse with her, but I do not want her to conceive.” The Prophet reportedly replied, “Practice 'azl(withdrawal), if you so like, but what is decreed for her will come to her.” [12] Similar reports are found in elsewhere in Sahih Muslim. [13] For those who argue that sex with slaves in not a legitimate practice in Islam, the most troubling thing of all would be the fact that according to traditional biographies of the Prophet, he himself owned more than one concubine. One of them, a Coptic woman named Mariya, was allegedly given to Muhammad as a “present” by the ruler of Egypt. [14] Eminent historian Muhammad ibn Jarir al-Tabari (d. 923) plainly describes Mariya as a “concubine,” [15] and Ismail ibn Kathir (d. 1373), relays a hadith explaining that Muhammad “consummated with Mariya since she was a slave.” [16] According to respected scholar Ibn Sa'd al-Baghdadi (d. 845), Muhammad freed Mariya after she gave birth to his child. [17] The second concubine was a Jewish woman named Rayhana. Ibn Kathir quotes several hadiths about her, including one in which the Prophet offers her the choice of either marrying him or accepting the following alternative, “If you wish to remain in my domain and for me to have intercourse with you by that right, then that I will do.” [18] Some hadiths say she married Muhammad, while many others claim she remained his concubine until death. [19] Most Muslims reject the idea of men taking concubines, but many are unaware of – or in denial about – the toleration of this practice in classical Islamic law and the Prophetic tradition. There is widespread silence about this topic in contemporary Muslim discourse – “traditionalist” scholars are even removing unpalatable references to slavery from their “complete” translations of classical texts. [20] In the rare instances where scholars dodiscuss slavery and concubines, they make great efforts to show how much “gentler” slavery was among Muslims than among non-Muslims historically. But they’re missing the point: the majority of contemporary Muslims consider the ownership and sexual “use” of human beings to be morally repugnant, regardless of how politely it is done. Lebanese author Amin Maalouf notes that, “Many types of behavior that are perfectly acceptable to a believer today would have struck his “co-religionists” in the past as inconceivable.” [21] The inverse also holds true. Is selective amnesia our way of avoiding the conflict between concubinage and our modern sensibilities? Muslims need to recognize the realities of the Islamic tradition in order to decide what role it should play in modern life. If we recoil in disgust at the mention of men having sex with female slaves, then what should we make of the alleged actions of the early Muslims, or indeed, the Prophet himself? Can we call concubinage “un-Islamic” if classical scholars approved of it, and the Prophet reportedly engaged in it? What makes something “Islamic” in the first place? If we want to develop a level of coherence in our beliefs as a global religious community, we must confront these questions head-on with clarity, candor and courage. Whatever interpretation we choose, let us acknowledge it as our own, not forgetting that the times we live in shape our religious assumptions just as much as Islam does.